I was wunderin’…what, if anything, did pyrates fear? What would make a pyrate change their best laid plans or completely abandon a plunderin’ party? What made them tremble and shake in terror?
Twitching at the end of a hangman’s noose, for sure, must have been a pyrate nightmare. Krakens, luscas, evil mermaids…all good reasons to be on edge. Perhaps an old, gnarly woman uttering curses as they leave port? That would be a good one. And damn creepy. Maybe encountering a severed head as you make your way to your ship after a night of rum and debauchery onshore?
Well, I didn’t plunder anything quite that dramatic in my search for pyrate fears, but I did come across some rather…interesting pyrate superstitions. I’ve included just a few here (as there are SO, so many!). I’m trying not to judge too harshly, I mean, I have a real fear of running into Bigfoot, so who am I to scoff at another pyrate’s dread?
Fear of Fruit
Pyrate Superstition: Bananas bring bad luck.
Pyrate Rule: Absolutely no bananas on board the ship.
Bootstrap Ginny’s Commentary: Unless someone can actually demonstrate that bananas bring bad luck, the crew would have to get over this one. I love me some bananas. The only bad thing about having them onboard would be the day when the last one was eaten. 0 stars for Fear of Fruit.
Fear of Women
Pyrate Superstition: Women on board will distract the crew and put the crew and ship in peril.
Pyrate Rule: No women on board.
Bootstrap Ginny’s Commentary: [Resting bitch face]
Fear of the Sea God
Pyrate Superstition: Cutting hair and/or nails while at sea will make Neptune really, really angry.
Pyrate Rule: Do not cut nails or hair at sea.
Bootstrap Ginny’s Commentary: So, Neptune likes his boys edgy and a little rough with long hair and long nails. It’s for the back scratches, I’m sure, right? And who doesn’t like long, flowing…tangled, unkempt hair? And long, dirty, splitting fingernails and toenails? Yuck. Erm…anyway.
Fear of the Whistle
Pyrate Superstition: Whistling is sure to bring a sea storm.
Pyrate Rule: NO WHISTLING!
Bootstrap Ginny’s Review: It’s fine not to whistle on board the ship, but if we EVER find ourselves in jail and there’s a dog nearby with the keys, you better pucker up, pyrate!
So, anyway, it’s no wonder that pyrates kept a steady rum buzz while awake. With so many terrors lurking, one needed a thick, constant drunk in order to do anything, right?
Right.
Next time…The Dog and Ned Low. Until then, keep plunderin’
Virginia Chandler 