Ahoy, my hearties! Bootstrap Ginny heard the rumor and went a’plunderin’ the new pyrate movie The Bluff. (Amazon Prime)
Well, straight away, I can confirm that The Bluff is indeed a pyrate movie. I mean, it has pyrate-y elements and pyrate-y characters. It even has GOLD! It has some flaws, but there was enough grog flowin’ that the flaws were easily overlooked.
So, here’s the how the plunder went…
1846
The movie begins with the pointed observation that we are well beyond the Golden Age of Piracy. In fact, these pyrates are still lingering in the mid 19th century. 1846, to be exact. They are in the Caribbean, so there’s that, but the time period is disappointing and…well…just awkward.
GOLD!
Aye! Gold! Gold was plundered, pyrates were betrayed, and shortly thereafter, gold and pyrate betrayer disappeared. Not an original plot, but it is a plot and even better, it’s a pyrate-y plot!
Eomer and Boba Fett are Pyrates!
I knew it! Karl Urban and Temuera Morrison make excellent pyrates! Urban’s Captain Connor is a nasty psychopath, (think Flint +5), and Morrison’s Quartermaster Lee is a sturdy but wary gold-seeking pyrate. Great fun to watch!
Black Heart Bradley
No spoilers here, but what a great pyrate name, aye! Poor Black Heart…he tried to retire a kinder, gentler fella’ but all of those pyrate-y deeds catch up to him.
Pyrate Crew Uniforms?
Uh, aye, so, Connor’s crew wears matching, black, assassin type clothing that I only can accurately describe as a uniform. Aye, pyrates in color coordinated clothing. I’m still ponderin’ this one. Just…why? At least it was black.
Pyrate Hideout!!!
Oh aye, my hearties, there’s a pyrate hideout and it ROCKS! The movie gets major, HUGE points for just the hideout. Well done! Huzzah!
Bloody Mary
Score with another great pyrate name! We want more Bloody Mary!
Buried Treasure
That settles it, doesn’t it? Pure pyrate. Love it.
Between the Ribs
Just really great pyrate words to die by. Expertly used by Captain Connor.
Khat Leaf
What the what is Khat Leaf? Urban’s Connor can’t seem to get enough it. I had to plunder a bit and found out that Khat Leaf is a euphoric stimulant from East Africa…Hm. East Africa. I guess Connor was well travelled.
Mutiny Among Pyrates?
My enjoyment of the movie was temporarily halted and replaced with groans of disbelief when pyrate mutiny became part of the plot. Just. Wrong. Boo.
Action
The movie is sorely lacking in ship action, and I do mean SORELY lacking. But, there is action. Lots of action with lots of swords and pistols. (And Captain Connor’s pistol is most definitely THE SHITE. WANT.)
Final Verdict
Our plunder of The Bluff resulted in relative satisfaction. Hm, wait…maybe I’m bein’ too much of a purist, (it happens). I was definitely entertained and, at times, giddy. It’s fun, fast, and none too deep of anything except action. Get some rum and give it a watch!
Until next time, fair winds!
Virginia Chandler 